I constantly battle with my need for control over every situation in my life. I stress myself out so much and think that every thing that goes wrong is my fault and I should have been able to prevent it from happening. It probably sounds insane to some of you, but that is how I am and it actually takes a toll on my physical health. Paul always says "it must be so stressful to be stuck in your head." While meditating one morning, I had an epiphany that really opened my eyes and helped me to understand my desire for control and what to do about it.
It all started when I lost my older brother, Brian, at the age of 11. I was old enough to understand what was going on, but too young to be able to work through all my feelings of loss and anxiety. It was a horrible and devastating experience that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. He was my hero and I looked up to him with such love and admiration. From that day forward, I clung to my family and was petrified that I would lose someone else close to me. This spawned my need for control over everything in my life. If I could keep tabs on everyone I loved and made sure that they were always okay, I was good to go. I wanted to take care of everyone even if it meant putting my health on the back burner. It took me a long time and more loss to realize that I will NEVER have control over everything in my life. Every day is different and brings about new challenges as well as rewards! Instead of trying to take everything on as my own, I decided all I can do is bring the most positive attitude I can to the table and treat people the way I want to be treated. I have my days when my bad habit sneaks back in and tries to take over, but I take a step back, meditate a little bit more, and keep on keeping on. It still gets the best of me sometimes and when it does I pay the price physically.
We all fall down sometimes, but have to realize that we are doing our best and can still reach our goals amidst set backs. Don't let your bad habits dictate your life and hold you back. Stressing about losing weight or looking a certain way actually causes our bodies and minds more harm then good. Remember, we are all in this journey together and are there to help!!!!
I saw a great quote at the Amish market a few weeks ago and it's stuck in my head. Treat each other kindly. Everyone is going through some kind of hardship and needs compassion. So true......
Yours in Health,
|I like Will's attitude on life and try to practice it more often;)|